I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
