oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
