I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
