he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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