My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
