I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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