foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
