I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
