3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His hands were made for my vagina.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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