I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said her name was "party"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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