32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
