hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
