Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Happy Easter!!!

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm an idiot

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(734): View more from Michigan

you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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(970): View more from Colorado

And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

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(765): View more from Indiana

We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose

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(740): View more from Ohio

Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!

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