My friends, they love my intelligence
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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