i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
