Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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