We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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