then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The adults are the big ones right?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
