I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
