Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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