My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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