im about as happy as oj after his trial
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
