Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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