I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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