Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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