Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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