whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
