I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
