Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize