He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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