My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
