I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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