Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
