her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
