What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
