I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize