I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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