Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
