The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
