I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
