Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
