Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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