ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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