I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im holly from the hills drunk
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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