hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
