i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize