That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
