hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
