i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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