You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
