my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
