I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize