made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
