It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
