Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
