Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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