After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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