We're like a lot better than the average bears
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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