Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
