that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
