whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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