Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize