I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
