What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
