But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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